“We Have a Deal”: Senate Agrees on $2 Trillion Relief Package

In an announcement after midnight on Wednesday, White House officials and Senate leaders said that Republicans and Democrats had come together on a $2 trillion coronavirus relief package that will put money in the pockets of Americans from coast to coast. The package, which was in danger of falling apart over the last few days due to Democrats trying to take ideological advantage of the crisis, will act as a financial boost to the economy at one of the most uncertain economic times in American history.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we are done,” announced White House legislative affairs director Eric Euland. “We have a deal. Much of the work on bill text has been completed, and I’m hopeful over the next few hours we’ll finish what’s left and we will circulate it early in the morning.”

In a statement where he pretended that Democrats were leading the charge on this stimulus, Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) said the bill was “unemployment compensation on steroids,” and he promised that out-of-work Americans would have most – if not all – of their salary replaced over the coming months.

On the Senate floor, Majority Leader Mitch McConnell took a swipe at his colleagues across the aisle.

“Democrats are finally taking ‘yes’ for an answer,” McConnell said. “Help is on the way. After days of intense discussions, the Senate has reached a bipartisan agreement on a historic relief package for this pandemic. It will rush new resources onto the front lines of our nation’s health care fight. And it will inject trillions of dollars of cash into the economy as fast as possible to help Americans workers, families, small businesses and industries make it through this disruption and emerge on the other side ready to soar.”

In remarks to reporters, Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin said the legislation would “be very important to help American workers, American businesses, and people across America.”

“We couldn’t be more pleased,” Mnuchin said. “I’ve spoken to the president many times today and he’s very pleased with this legislation and the impact that this is going to have.”

Republicans conceded to Democrats on a few minor points, none of which have anything to do with Nancy Pelosi’s insanely partisan wish-list. They agreed to include oversight over the $500 billion earmarked for “distressed businesses,” and they agreed to a special provision that will prevent President Trump and his businesses from taking out loans or benefitting financially from the legislation. It can be argued whether or not that’s exactly fair, but it isn’t handing amnesty to DACA recipients, which is what Pelosi wanted to do with the package.

Hopefully, this deal will carry America through the tough times ahead and put us on a road to speedy economic recovery once this nightmare is over.